#but this makes me so sad again *sobs*
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ryomina demons are winning
#does anyone here like them idk. theyre funny#putting off finishing p3re to draw these so i don't have to be sad just yet#cat’s art#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#makoto yuki#minato arisato#p3#persona 3#p3re#p3 reload#sorry for traditional sketch stuff... idk i just feel like i do better on paper even tho its literally the same style#like i can just get the lines better on paper. i think my brush is probably too thick digitally if i'm having this problem lol#makoto makes me so emo u guys have no idea. i didn't quite get this guy in the beginning but now...#full force understanding of a character. hes. he :( (incoherent sobbing)#tag ramble again SORRY I UEBRO4Y39NRMFMT#oh yeah the period thing going around is so funny. PERSONA 3 PERIOD SIMULATOR
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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the loss of a pet
he has been found the morning after i drew this, but it still means a lot to me so i wanted to post it anyways. he is safe and sound, and he's here to stick to his promise of living forever :)
#loss of a pet#WHO IS HOME AND SAFE!!! DW!!#sad comic#comic#art#artwork#cat#cat comic#he's home and safe but gosh rereading this comic is making me cry again#i was full on sobbing during the making of this#i missed him so much#im so happy he's back
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Not to alarm anyone but it’s been nine years since the last One Direction concert.
#not that we need another reason to be sad on main but like today is always a reason to be sad on main in the 1D fandom#it’s the 9th anniversary of the last OTRA show and damn…where has the time gone? like truly#it’s been ten years since I saw them with my own eyeballs for the WWA tour and that makes me wanna sob#I’m just extra emo so don’t mind me#one direction#Harry styles#liam payne#niall horan#louis tomlinson#zayn malik#on the road again
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fiona gallagher // "i bet on losing dogs" by mistki
#fiona gallagher#shameless#fiona and her kids#fiona and monica#parentification#fiona gallagher’s childhood#parentified child#ami weaves a web#another sad fiona edit sorry!!!! SORRY#except not sorry. not really. lol#i have had this rattling around my head for days just needed to put it out there#mistki#mitski lyrics#making myself sad with this one folks!#also oh my god this was so hard to color match sorry if the editing looks shitty#EVERYTHING FROM SEASONS 1-3 ARE BRIGHT YELLOW AND EVERYTHING ONWARDS IS TWILIGHT BLUE KICKING AND SCREAMING#WHYYYYY#anyways!#particularly emotional about this fi and debbie scene oh goddd the way she’s cupping her cheek just makes me want to cry#GOD I JUST ..#TELL YOUR BABY THAT IM YOUR BABY !!!!!!!!!#i bet on losing dogs is just SO fiona gallagher coded#but also?? ELDEST DAUGHTER CODED IN GENERAL#GODDDDD#i always want you when i’m finally fine too#for a while i’m just. this is okay. everything is fine. and then BAM#I WANT TO BE MY PARENTS CHILD AGAIN PLEASEEEEE PLEASE PLEASE LEKALSLLLSLSLSLKDDK LET ME BE YOUR BABY !!!!!!!#PLEEASASSEREEEEEEEE#SOBBING AND CRYINF
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truthfully bro, a lot of writers wouldn’t write the stuff they do if their works weren’t at least a little self-coded. if a writer puts “chubby” or “black reader” or a specific gender in the tags it’s not your job to tell them they’re “wrong” for it - or that it’s not “canon”.
writers, just as much as readers, want representation and variation in the types of readers being written about. it would suck to never find a fic that makes you feel safe. so don’t hate on writers for putting specific aspects of readers in fics, just scroll and find something that suits you!
#sobs this should b a safe place !!!1!1!1!1!1!!#this is general thought but.#ive seen this happen a million times N IT HAPPENED AGAIN TO A MOOT#so i wanted to say smth bcuz it makes me sad 🤕#snifle#cw discourse#???#anyways lil thought for this morn#I HOPE EVERONE HAS A GOOD DAY 😋😋😋
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"Spread across the comforter are their film strips from the photo corner at the dance... A full size picture of the four of them signing their team letter to the camera with huge smiles on their faces."
On the Run from Tomorrow, ch. 17
Last chap's up. I am getting so horribly emotional trying to write a note here, so just...
JNPR 💛🧡❤️💚 Forever
#rwby#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#lie ren#team jnpr#rwby fanart#nora is on an apple crate and pyrrha and jaune are crouching by the way; ren's just standing#so i started drawing the whole shrine but i could simply not finish it; i realized i did need to draw this and while it is bitter sweet#it did not hit me as emotionally badly as the shrine did so i decided to make this the end illustration for now#i think i will finish the shrine later this year maybe#i was able to work on this for a few hours before getting too sad unlike the shrine#they are so happy. i drew their expressions on a separate layer so i could turn them off when i got too sad#they were so happy together. they mean everything to me. they don't deserve any of the bad things that have ever happened to them#this moment though. frozen in time. on top of the world. nothing bad has ever happened ever and they're happy#gods. they're happy. just for a moment in time.#fuck im crying again.#anyway enjoy im gonna go sob in a fucking corner#poa! jnpr#kina draws
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okay okay so... it's truly the last i'm talking about and analyzing 261 leaks outside the asks i’ve received bc i just read the high quality pages with english translation, and i noticed several notes not covered in the leaks—
so more points i finally understand is one, gojo is the one murdering the higher ups in the room from chapter 233 (we presumed it was yuta at the time), and two, while they have this contingency plan of transferring yuta to gojo's body with shoko's help, gojo is kinda upset that shoko doesn't oppose it🥲
he doesn't want his students to see while he slaughters the rotten higher ups. he doesn't want shoko to be the one transferring yuta to his body when he dies. in the end, he's just... plain considerate🥺 it reminds me of when gojo doesn't give geto's body to shoko too... she is his remaining friend, and he just wants to leave her out of any messy business
#half of this might be my satoshoko fan self talking so yeah :')#but this makes me so sad again *sobs*#god... he is so kind and despite others not being able to “understand” him... gojo always tries to understand them😭#and shoko seems so sure gojo will be alright too… that’s why she’s smoking so hard when gojo is in disadvantage during the fight🤧#i’m done asking why gege has to put gojo and yuta through this hellhole—we won’t ever know anyway. it’s his pen not ours#what he has shown us is:#how humane gojo is🥲 even when everyone has to turn him into a weapon he remains a human and a teacher to them all#oh no... i'm in shambles😭#jjk leaks#jjk 261
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TROP S2 SPOILERS
Nobody better say anything bad about my girl Earian she is being manipulated through her grief by the men in power around her and it's making it hard for her to discern right from wrong. I'm not saying that her actions are justified, I'm just saying that she misses her brother and dearly needs her dad, but at the moment she is all alone and that can mess a person up
#I tried looking up her name in the tags and I saw nothing???#We are doing my baby dirty#Also why are my favorite characters from this show always the woman grieving her dead brother#whose grief makes them easily susceptible to darkness?#First Galadriel and now Earian#IDK I find both of their storylines compelling#and very similar hmm#I liked Earian from S1 so seeing the hate she is getting makes me sad#It's Galadriel all over again#I guess woman in fantasy are not allowed to grieve or make mistakes#but when they are perfect they are hated on too#anyways the scene where Earian was hugging her dad and sobbing got to me#I never doubted you girly please make good choices please please please#the rings of power#rings of power#blue blathers#trop#rings of power positivity#Earian#trop s2#trop s2 spoilers
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kabru... gay.......
my stomach hurts whenever I look at this page / set of pages after this ngl . like if I was Kabru I'd straight up jump off the cliffside. the way Laios is just looking at him with such... idk. cold concern. aough
#its not in a second hand embarassment way#but genuinely a I can feel a spiritual connection with these two that it hurts me#dunmeshi#asks#this is just so. Ough#can they stop (silly)🚏 LET ME BREATHEEE DAMMIT RYOKO KUI#( Ryoko Kui Voice ) I will create a conflict that is so real#the freaklets (starts sobbing and breaking down)#AOUGH HE JUST WANTED TO BE HIS FRIEND HE JUST WANTED HIM TO STAY HE JUST WANTED HIM TO BE SAFE FROM DANGERS#AND HE JUST WANTED TO SAVE HIS GOOD FRIEND HE WANTED TO MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR HER ...#AOUGH 😫🥺😭😭❣️♥️💓. Labru please. PLEASEEE I will be Sad again PLESSE#tree 🌳🐈⬛ !#dungeon meshi manga spoilers
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thinking about how profound it must’ve been for shri’iia when she first received scratch’s ball (woman who has never gotten anything for free in her life ever)
#shri’iia’s relationship with scratch and owlbear cub is that she has only gotten those two for a day and a half and if anything happens to#them she’s gonna kill everyone and herself (she means it)#which is so funny to me bc I usually go for the intimidate options with scratch like she just makes him heel or drop the ball immediately#so she just seems like she doesn’t like the dog but inside she’s like ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭 sobbing pissing herself the dog is so cute#shri’iia watching scratch roll on his back like a wiggling worm and she looks like she’s smiling menacingly and plotting#bc the lack of eyebrows + eye tattoo that looks like devil horns + insanely bright red eyes makes her look sinister#but she’s actually dying inside bc she finds him so cute. she will forgive how he drools on her and everything#also post oath breaking when she’s knee deep in denial I do imagine that he tries to console her w how dogs can sense ur distress and all#that. that’s why she gets attached to him 😭 she hasn’t had anyone console her before 😭#owlbear cub too… sobs she does love her babies but she’s doesn’t express it often she just doesn’t know how#but I do hc that those two are always bound to curl up w shri’iia when she’s in her trance. like when she’s laying down they’re like it’s#free real estate. then this 5 ft woman gets covered by a massive dog and her owlbear cub 🥰🥰#must be so sad for her to find out after the game that the owlbear cub and scratch left#she’s like im NOT upset btw 😭 tears running down her face astarion is like darling what mascara do u use mine isnt that dramatic#then epilogue when she sees them again and she has to give them up to shadowheart 💔💔💔💔#she’s like. clenched fist im so fucking happy for you I’m so serious
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#a doodley#i cant draw his hair shine anymore without thinking abt the ask saying it was so Rooster#so trueeeee my rooster boyyy *sobbing*#also always torn bc i like drawing haggard talon with big ears but i think fed talon wld have bigger ones ykwim#like when kittens have huge ears to grow into#also while im rambling here i wanna restructure his whole history again#vampirism being the result of a curse and negatively affecting him in a way he'll have to carry for the rest of his long immortal life#as well as forgoing feeding to Age and him physically feeling the ails of aging isn't enough...#im trying to conjure up smthng else that wldve happened to him in one of the worst times in his life but thats hard bc i cant explore it to#much bc the subject matter makes me sad LOL and also dont want to seem like those ppl who throw in stuff like that gratuitously
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rain always makes me think of brocedes
#the way it's loud but quiet at the same time#like it's beautiful but it won't last long#like at the beginning of it it's beautiful and there's wind and clouds#then when it ends there's just mud#idk i always listen to sad songs and look at brocedes posts when it rains#i miss them so much#like it's actually a physical pain in my chest#that makes me sob actual tears#bring back my parents man#i hope they find eachother again#also one quote makes me think of them#the one that goes something like#all the love in the world is useless if there's no understanding#a dagger through my heart would hurt less#brocedes#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg
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Focus (Or: The Unfortunate Destiny of Not Running Laps)
(Don't forget to read the warnings, they are v important!)
Kanene's notes: I am here to call out RUOYE!! BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE FIC IS FRUIT OF ITS SMUGNESS WHILE CAPTURING LANG QIANQIU IN THE FOREST. Like for REAL it just stopped, looked at him all :] and then captured him like jhgfdfgh pls stop being so silly it's killing me.
Warnings: This is a tickle fic and is basically an AU based in the idea I had in this post. Long short story with no spoilers: Xie Lian decided to tell the truth sooner to Lang Qianqiu and the boy had time to deal with his feelings and their relationship didn't become too strained, even if they parted ways. Another modification here is that the nameless boy that is always by LQQ side is called Xiao Mengyou, like I've seen he be called in the fandom. Besides that, nothing more! There's brief light bondage (thank u Ruoye) and some feet tickling during lqq's revenge, in case u don't like that. But it's the famous fluff with light angst, tickle fights and lot of silliness. Around 6.500 words.
[~*~]
Lang Quianqui discreetly managed to take in a deep breath, eyes glued on his preceptor, body unconsciously falling into the defensive stance that has been taught to him for years. It was hard to keep himself still. His entire being was thrilling with energy, an adrenaline that had not dissipated since he woke up and realized what day was today. The energy had fed his mind and body constantly as he fell along the main forms and drills they’ve been covering since the start of the day, over and over, each correction of Fang Xin over his posture and handle of sword only serving to make him buzz even more with nerves and the wish to impress him, trying harder and harder to focus until his movements went from stiff and tense to fluid and natural, striving for perfection.
Attentive eyes watched him like a hawk, more staring than normal, looking for something that Lang Qianqiu didn’t know if he was hiding well. It made him grip the handle of his sword more firmly and his movements quicker. The prince didn’t know if it was just his imagination, and the mask didn’t really help in his analyzes, but he could swear that he saw his mentor’s face glimpse into a confused frown as he accidentally kept stammering clumsily through the stances that he had already mastered a few months ago, even being on his best today barely reached the excellency he had every other good day. Still, he continued to strive for perfection.
Training with Fang Xin was… incredible. In the last year exactly, for the first time since he was only a kid receiving his first wooden sword, Lang Quianqui felt excited to go train, never once getting bored during the lectures, never going through his lessons unchallenged, each and every teaching pushing him to through his limits in a way that left him thoughtful and expectant to expand them even further, see how far he could get. His Guoshi had a different method of teaching and after his parents saw his improvement after a few months into his classes, together with his clear joy in having them, they gave the adult free reign of his studies, changing his routine as much as he needed, as long as it didn’t harm his other responsibilities. They supported them with materials and rooms as necessary and always listened with proud smiles when Lang Quianqui went to ramble to them all they had done and accomplished that day.
Fang Xin valued both the training of his mind and body, much to Lang Quianqui chagrin, especially as he kept dishing out writing punishments and calligraphy exercises that would leave him grumbling about missing the better days with old teachers who would simply have him running laps for slipping into quick naps during their lessons. Usually such commentaries only resulted in more writing and longer punishments, when Fang Xin listened to it. In the end, it was fine. After the initial glooming and pouting, he got to realize how the books that he had to copy always proved to be interesting, challenging his mind with stories and theories he hadn’t thought about before and giving him even more ideas to share with his teacher later, who always listened to him carefully, - even with an ever-lasting air of satisfaction that brought a smug glint in his eyes and a pleased hum in his words - no matter how long he spent in his musings, prodding him with questions and small lectures until he arrived to conclusions that would make the adult nod in a hidden pride, or at least, he hoped so.
It was no surprise to him to find excitement and anticipation in his mind for each class, wondering what would be the main skill trained today. If they would focus in his flexibility and quick thinking to get the upper hand into surprise attacks and uneven grounds (his mother almost had an heart attack when he fell out of the roof and broke her window with an accidental kick) or his ability to coordinate planned attacks with strong strategies that would exploit his opponent’s weakness and entice his own strengths.
For today, as it seems, they were going to stick with spars and practical learning. It was probably good, with how many mistakes he had already made just during the warming up and how distracted he was today, waiting impatiently for the end of the class. Having a close range exercise that would force him to focus unless he wanted to explain to his preceptor why his mind was flying away, a dangerous but not impossible possibility, was very good, especially because he wouldn’t be able to respond his teacher if he asked and Fang Xin would immediately catch his lies or any attempt to stir the topic away and he really, really couldn’t risk to get any punishments today.
Afterall, Fag Xin Guoshi probably was already extremely displeased with his performance. Even if he was too polite to show. Lang Qianqiu gritted his teeth and embraced himself.
There will be no more mistakes from now on. He will do his best!
They circled each other for a few seconds before the buzzing energy became stronger than him and Lang Quianqui jumped in his direction, starting the fight. He feinted an attack on the teacher’s right, jumping away from his defense and immediately falling into another attack. Just like the first blow, this one was quickly blocked and the crown prince was pushed to the side, Fang Xin’s blade pressing against his sword with such a strength that Lang Quianqui had no other option but to start backing up before the sword was pushed to his throat, trying to at least stabilize himself.
“Concentrate on your footwork.” Fang Xin chided, his voice even and calm as always, showing no hint of strain. The arm that was not holding his weapon was curled on his back and he didn’t move a single step in his direction. Lang Qianqiu was sure that if he glanced at his forehead, there would be no sweat. He, on the other side, could feel his breath already beginning to speed, arms trembling as he tried to not be overpowered. “There is always going to be someone stronger and taller than you during war and you can’t afford to lose. Don’t try to outstrength them because you won’t. Prioritize your speed and versatility.”
“Right!” Lang Qianqiu agreed, immediately dropping himself to the ground, the preceptor's sword passing with a quick gush of wind just inches from his face as he tried to trip the other, rolling around and quickly jumping to straight himself again when more attacks went in his direction.
Fang Xin pivoted around the same spot as the young prince sprinted and threw himself at him in a mix of misleading attacks that attempted to both pull his attention elsewhere and open his guard. Extra, even if rare, punches and kicks tried to make him lose his balance. It’s been exactly one year, yet Qianqiu hasn't been able to make him move around the arena one bit.
A sudden kick going to his face made the boy yelp and twirl to his left, only to almost get a sword going right to his flank, but blocking it with his blade at the last moment.
“Focus.” His teacher remarked, starting a series of strikes aiming for his torso. “Pull your sword closer to your body. You’re paying too much attention in protecting your face and not losing your stance that it leaves your entire flank unprotected.”
As if to prove his own words, his blade quickly aimed to his face, only to be immediately pushed away in a move that wobbled the other’s grip on the handle. Before the prince could explore that, however, Fang Xin speedly twisted and turned his attack back to his sides. Again, Qianqiu almost didn’t manage to rotate his long blade enough to catch it, being pushed away as the sound of metal scraping metal filled the training grounds. “Keep on rolling and jumping, if you must, just do not lose your balance and attention to your surroundings.”
He striked again and, following his words, the young one threw himself on the ground and rolled away. Panting as he straightened himself, he watched his preceptor, reading his sword.
Before he decided to attack, Lang Qianqiu went first, deciding to just make his moves up as he goes. He jumped and twisted, aiming for the neck. He watched as the adult glided aside with an effortless grace and turned to block the blow, pushing the blades upwards, weakening his grip on the sword at an alarming speed. The thought of using their closeness to kick him away had just crossed his mind when a purple and white blur appeared right by his sides and-
He jumped away with a squeal, his lips being pulled in an unexpected smile, hand running to cover his ribs, skin still tingling.
What was that!
He turned around, pulling his sword even closer, face red from the embarrassing sound that just escaped from his mouth without his permission.
Someone had just tickled him!
Still reeling with the sudden bust of energy and tickly sensation, his eyes immediately stopped at Guoshi, staring at him warily, but being only answered with the same calmness and collectedness that always filled his every action and words.
Maybe was it him who…?
“Do not charge right back in without correcting your mistakes and very much less without a plan.” Fang Xin went back to his initial stance, one hand holding his sword and the other resting calmly on his back. His posture had no flaws, his lips held no grinning smiles and his voice got no playful cadence that betrayed his serious tune. “Remember what I said, use your speed and versatility. Ready?”
…No, it couldn’t be him. The imperial preceptor would never step down to do something as silly and childish as tickling. He probably imagined it?
Once more, he watched his surroundings with narrowed, attentive eyes. Maybe it was…
There he was.
Behind him, on the other side of the arena, his friend smiled at him. Lang Quianqiu shuddered in alarm.
Since a couple weeks ago, when Qianqiu had used the other’s distraction to unleash a playful surprise tickle attack on him, Xiao Mengyou had been using his every opportunity to tickle him senseless back, going even further as to wait the end of his last martial class - when he usually laid on the cold ground to get his breath back - to immediately attack him with pokes and wiggling fingers the very moment Fang Xin Guoshi turned his back and pretended to not hear them fooling around, leaving the prince giggling and squirming until he was tired enough to not immediately get him back as revenge.
(Too lost in their own game, none of them noticed the initial moment, when the adult turned back promptly at the squeal of the prince, ready to defend, only to stop and smile amusedly at the joyful friends in front of him, leaving them be and enjoy their own playfulness. There was a deep melancholy pooling in his eyes in that evening.)
Seeing that the attention was still on him, Mengyou made a walking motion with his fingers on his palm and then a thumbs up. Lang Qianqiu felt his eyes wide and he took a wobbly step backwards.
Did he just… confirm that he was the one who tickled him?
Watching his face, Xiao Mengyou smiled a tiny grin and nodded.
Lang Qianqiu bristled and started to head into his direction with firm steps. Mengyou frowned and tilted his head to the side, in apparent confusion.
“Lang Qianqiu.” The crown prince automatically froze with the clear commanding tune on the other’s voice, posture straight as he turned around to his teacher, suddenly remembering that they weren’t alone in the arena.
“Your lesson is not over, yet. Focus.” His Guoshi seemed more amused than annoyed, though. Lang Qianqiu internally exhaled in relief. How embarrassing, his mind was really all over the place today. “Let’s start again.”
Nodding, the younger one went back to his stance, eying his opponent before charging straight in. He swore he listened to Fang Xin huff in exasperation, but the sound of blades colliding resonated louder and quickly pulled his attention back to the spar.
This time it took longer before he got distracted and another poke attacked his armpit as he tried to push his teacher’s hand out of his sword’s handle. He squeaked and jumped backwards, quickly scurrying away as Guoshi’s blade followed him without a rest.
And so, the onslaught of brief, equally light and impossible to ignore, tickly touches kept following him.
A prodding on his side and a loud yelp.
Another poke on his belly and a wheezy snort.
A tickle across his entire spine that made him jump and almost lost track of his teacher.
A scribbling on the back of his neck that pulled a couple of giggles out of his throat and sealed that silly, wobbly smile forever in his face.
All through this, he kept his fight. The adrenaline of waiting for another tickle attack and the wish of stop being so childish, giggling and squirming in front of the person he looked up the most, made him the most focused he has been the entire day, falling and rolling and charging blow after blow, fuelled by the bolts of electricity that ran across his meridians every time he saw a blur of white and purple in his peripheral vision and felt titters bouncing in his throat long before the ticklish feeling even touched him, descending in chuckles and huffs of laughter as he managed to escape another playful attack.
He had just managed to run right behind Fang Xin in an attempt for a surprise attack, when he felt something latch on the back of his robes, scurrying across his neck and jumping in between his articles of clothes. There was no escaping from the loud, surprised shriek that ran from his throat the moment he felt the tickles dig in his armpits, making both of his hands lock on the handle of his sword and his arms to clue to his sides, the attempt of protection being too late to stop the soft - so extremely, absurdly soft - sensation that ran up and down his pits, prodding and drumming and pulling hysterical giggle after hysterical giggle from him. His legs stumbled and his shoulders bounced with the energy and need to squirm away, but he kept his stance.
The tickling traveled to his back, scribbling freely on his ribs and poking incessantly his spine until the young prince gave up from his form and turned around in pursue of his attacker, eyes closed from laughter, trying to push whoever was targeting his shoulderblades with so much wiggling and scratching away. His cheeks were in flames with the way squeaky hiccups began appearing in between his crackles.
He tried to open his eyes to better escape and fight his revenge, but there was already tears blurring his vision and, the moment he felt that soft touch worming its way to his sides, all he could do was sheath his sword and swing it around blindly, ignoring how silly he must been looking (he would never forgive himself if he cut Xiao Mengyou by mistake).
Strings of “no, no, no, let go!” fell in waterfalls from his mouth, yet they did nothing to stop his sides from being lavished in tiny pinches and a playful spidering. His head was thrown backwards with the force of his laughter as he hugged himself, unsuccessful to himself from being tickled to pieces.
A strong, warm hand was laid on his shoulder and, lost in his laughing fit, Lang Qianqiu almost couldn’t catch when Guoshi said to let him go and the tickling feeling magically disappeared.
The prince couldn’t help the way he wobbled on the same place, tittering snickers and wheezy chuckles still filling the air, and leaned on Fang Xin, his Guoshi rubbing his shoulder while keeping his other arm tightly close to his body. His face had that expression he always carried when he was about to lecture him and leave another writing assignment, but it disappeared as quick as it came when he noticed Lang Qianqiu watching, his eyes instead twinkling with a suave amusement.
The crown prince had just gotten his breath back when his eyes traveled the rest of the arena and he saw his friend just a few steps of them, looking strangely uncomposed with a red hue painting his face. Lang Quianqiu squinted warily as he noticed his gaze and jumped on the same spot, getting closer.
As he opened his mouth to say something, the prince beated him to it, quickly straightening himself and turning around to bow politely at Fang Xin.
“I request a small break, please, Guoshi!”
Also looking a tad restless, but never losing his posture, Fang Xin nodded, getting his sword and walking away, probably to read some poem book as he always did during their moments of rest. Lang Qianqiu paid him no mind and instead swiftly turned back to his friend, who still looked flushed and confused.
“Your Highness, are you alright? I saw-”
His words morphed to a shriek when the crown prince jumped on him, no other word exchanged or mercy in sight as he energetically clawed his belly, chasing his loud squeaks until a high pitched laughter began to fill the entire arena, promptly making Xiao Mengyou immediately try to muffle it all behind his hands.
“Wait! Why!!”
With the flourish of someone who had done this plenty of times before and would continue to do so for plenty times more, Lang Qianqiu simply huffed - half amused and half annoyed - and turned around, successfully sitting on his legs and trapping him in a very tickly destiny. Mengyou, with the same ease of someone who had been in this situation plenty of times before and knew very well about his future fate, started to squirm and trash much before he felt his shoes being pulled out, pleas falling from his lips like raindrops during the summer.
“You Highness, no! Not my feet, please, please! You know, you know I am the most ticklish there. Your Highness, just leave them alonEHEHE! NOHO!”
Lang Qianqiu did not, in fact, leave them alone. Instead, he dodge a kick - not before leaving a few scribbles on that sole for his trouble - and grabbed his other feet, holding his ankle down in a firm but gentle grip and spidering his fingers from the lowest point of his heel to his toes in a way that he knew it would leave his childhood friend crazy, watching with a smirk as he clamped his hands even harder over his mouth. Still, he was unsuccessful to muffle the uncontrollable crackles and squeals at each tiny scribble that escaped from his lungs. For this he blushed even more, kicks getting more energetic.
Mengyou tried to roll away and escape, but, since the attack that hit Lang Qianqiu a couple of moments ago had been unrelenting, following his every move and tickling him everywhere, so was his comeback. His blunt nails chased his squirming no matter where, delivering scratches across his entire sole and focusing his pokes and scribbles on the sensitive spots he already knew it tickled the most.
The crown prince huffed with no heat when another strings of pleas and a few protests mingled together with the stray screeches that he managed to fish every time he concentrated his tickling right in the middle of his arch, changing from soft touches, full of circles being drawn slowly on the sensitive skin, to scratching it with no mercy, hysterical giggles and bubbly laughter dancing mingled in the air. Finally, when another squeaky “Your Highness” escaped his friend, Lang Qianqiu declared enough. He turned around fiercely and crossed his arms, staring directly at his friend, who barely watched him back with how much squinting in a big smile his eyes were.
“You were the first one to start it! Even attacking me in front of Fang Xin Guoshi.” Just the reminder of how he completely lost his composure and giggled like a kid in the middle of the fight made his cheeks burn hot. The fact that the other simply kept watching him with gleaming eyes and restless titters also didn’t help. “Don’t you think I am being fair?”
Xiao Mengyou kept snickering and snickering, head turning around in an attempt to hide his silly, disheveled state. Lang Qianqiu almost pouted with how even the most ruthless attack to his most ticklish spot couldn’t make him stop hiding his face.
When more moments flew away with him staring at his friend and the other being lost in a mess of giddy giggles, he reached skillfully behind him for his toes, burying his wiggling fingers right under them and spidering energetically, a joyful smirk appearing easily in his face at how this finally made Mengyou low his arms and sit up, trying to push him off his legs without any real force.
Seemingly as his words finally sank on the other’s mind, Mengyou answered. “You t- attacked me first that day! I was only getting revenge.” A snort flew from his lips and his face got even redder. “It’s been such a long time, too, Your Highness. Why tickle me back now?!”
Lang Qianqiu was speechless. “Such a long time? That is it!”
He got out of the other’s legs, waiting as he took his breath back.
His childhood friend looked at the crown prince with a mix of surprise and wariness. Lang Qianqiu took the opportunity to turn around and run his gaze across the arena, noticing that Fang Xin Guoshi was nowhere to be seen. Uh. Maybe he got hungry and went to grab a snack? Well, since he still had some business to complete, Lang Qianqiu didn’t care to think too much about it.
His golden eyes glinted with mischief when they turned back to stare at Mengyou, who jolted on the same place and braced himself.
“Let’s have a tickle fight.” Lang Qianqiu copied him, also preparing himself, determination clear in every trace of his expression. Mengyou felt slightly amused with how serious he was taking this. “The first one to surrender wins and the loser can’t get revenge anytime soon.”
Mengyou looked thoughtfully at him and the crown prince was sure that his friend haven’t made his mind, and yet wasted no time in looking for the perfect place to strike, somewhere that would make him boneless and closer to surrender, that would make him forget everything besides how much it tickled and swapped his energy quickly. He found himself doing just the same, eyes locking on his knees before they widened in realization.
“Wait!” He scrambled to take off his own boots. “Now we are even.”
“Your feet aren’t as ticklish as mine, Your Highness.” As it always did, his voice stumbled just the tiniest bit over the word ‘ticklish’, but it still maintained a grumbling tone. Lang Qianqiu held his chin pensitive. “And the imperial preceptor will be back soon, there is no need.”
He was right.
“My sides are my most ticklish spot.” As he conceded, the crown prince began pulling the string that kept his stash together, robes starting to loose up as well. “That is fine, I will just take off my upper robes.”
“Do not!” In a flash, there were hands pulling his away and quickly tying his stash firmly back. Mengyou’s voice stumbled again, tune equally serious and a tad hysterical. “What are you thinking, Your Highness?! What if Fang Xin Guoshi comes back or your parents decide to oversee your lessons today? How will we explain if they see you in that state? It would be irresponsible of you at least and shameless at worst!”
Properly admonished, Qianqiu let out an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his head. “I didn’t think about that.” Then he shook himself and focused on the matter at hand, gold, intense eyes watching Xiao Mengyou again. “We must have a fair tickle fight, still. I can’t have it any other way!”
Sigh. “It’s easier to worm my hands on your robes than for you to do the same with my boots during a ti… our fight. I will just put my shoes back.”
Lang Qianqiu gaped at him. “How is that fair? You’re hiding your ticklish spot while you just said it’s easier to get mine!”
“Well, you already got me there!”
“You’re making excuses, you tickle me on my sides all the time!”
“Yes, just like now.”
“Exact- wait, wh-” But before he could finish, Xiao Mengyou was already jumping on him, skilled fingers working their way to his sides and squeezing in a much more energetically determined way than his attack during his lessons, making his muscles lock up in place as squeaking laughter immediately escaped from his lips. Before he could lose all his force to the laughter, the crown prince attacked back, and soon two sets of giggles, squeals and crackling laughter were filling the air.
Until the sighing mentor came and declared the break over, even if there was still a different kind of gleam in his eyes.
The same gleam that stared now right back at him, in the middle of that forest, centuries later, with the former king of Yong’An alone and Fang Xin, no, Xie Lian being accompanied by the very own Ghost King, his friend.
Lang Qianqiu tried to escape the white silk that had so suddenly wrapped itself around him and rendered the younger martial god immobile on the floor. It was futile.
“What is this!” He tried to wiggle and squirm, but the fabric kept a firm, yet non bruising, hold on him. Like this, there was no way he could show his former Guoshi how he had grown his combating skills and how he probably could, if not take him in an equal fight, at least be a worthy opponent. An explosive indignation at the unfairness of Xie Lian’s tactic began flaring on him. “Let me go, this is not fair!”
“You didn’t specify that we should only use swords in our fight. Ruoye is my weapon, afterall.” If Lang Qianqiu had ever doubted that Xie Lian was indeed his old mentor, all of it would be gone now. The scolding, teaching tone was just the same, even after all the time. Although, it felt more tired, now. Older. “Besides, you should always be prepared for your opponent using unhanded tactics and surprise ambushes. If this was a real combat, you'd be dead already.”
Hua Cheng chuckled and for a moment Lang Qianqiu felt a wave of deja-vu wash over him, reminding the younger one about a similar situation when he had been rendered immobile in the past.
(That is right, Qianqiu realized, with shame beginning to fight against him and prickle his skin, his Guoshi had been there too, hadn’t he?)
After such a true, yet unforgiving point, his lips pressed into a thin line, displeased. It was all just the same and infinitely different from those days when he was a teenager.
For one, even with everything, Xie Lian seemed much more carefree. It was in the teasing tilt of his smile as he kneeled closer, in the slight slouch of his form, in the way he chatted and displayed emotions that had never been present in his in the imperial preceptor’s face before. Fondness, insecurity and, especially, indecision. Fang Xin Guoshi seemed sure in every step he took. When he lied to him and when decided to tell the truth, when he saved his life (again and again and again) and refused his invitation to a duel right after Lang Qianqiu discovered his identity. His Guoshi had been giant, indestructible, bigger than anything that crossed his way. Sometimes, Qianqiu still saw him that way, in his dreams and nightmares.
Overlapping the image of his teacher and the kind god that ascended thrice seemed impossible.
Then he remembers him rescuing him in the Ghost City. He remembers being equally saved when he was twelve. He remembers his resolute composure when he confronted him about being his former Guoshi and the warm hand on his shoulder when Xie Lian woke him up after the heavenly conference. The way that he looked at him now. Serious. Admonishing. Somehow still soft.
Suddenly piercing together those two images wasn’t really difficult at all.
Very different and yet the very same.
“Let us fight seriously this time! Only swords, no other weapons, until one of us surrenders or blood is drawn. Let me go, Guoshi.”
Xie Lian sighed in the same way he did centuries ago, when Lang Qianqiu kept pestering him to teach him said foolish maneuver that saved his life. The young one trashed more energetically in protest. “I told you once, didn’t I? ‘Do not charge right back in without correcting your mistakes and very much less without a plan’. Tell me, how could you have prevented me from winning the fight?”
Immediately his mind blanked with both the nostalgia and surprised feeling that ran through him and the former king stopped trashing, looking at his Guoshi with wide eyes. Xie Lian, then, looked horribly unsure for a moment, but in his next blink that expression was gone and he watched him in expectation, not taking his words back.
Lang Qianqiu could understand.
There was anger and indignation bristling in his chest. He wasn’t that kid anymore, looking for the approval of his mentor, the person that he looked up to the most, the person that deceived him, who left a young boy, alone, scared, betrayed to rule an entire angered kingdom.
As soon as the anger came, however, it soon went away, leaving only tiredness and nostalgia behind. Lang Qianqiu didn’t feel as furious as he had been when he discovered the entire truth, a long, long time ago. He wasn’t as single focused on it as he once had been.
It’s been so many years. So many centuries.
(Sometimes he still felt like that kid.)
As time passed in his silence, Xie Lian looked awkward, perhaps sad, and he recomposed himself, preparing to leave.
As usual, Qianqiu’s mouth moved first than his brain.
“I could’ve dodged Ruoye!”
Xie Lian froze on his way up, searching his face for something. He must have found it, since he went back to his kneeling position and Hua Cheng stopped looking at the younger with something dangerous in his glare. Lang Qianqiu itched to finish their previous fight. Before he could think too much about that, though, his former guoshi’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“It would follow you no matter your move, which was already hindered by your surprise and slow reaction. It’s a spiritual weapon with long range. You’d still lose.”
He wanted to protest the use of ‘losing’ on this occasion, since his victory truly couldn’t hold any honor or weight after using such an improper ambush. However, before he could get a single word in, something white appeared in his vision field.
Lang Qianqiu blinked and turned to Ruoye, who seemed to shake in what seemed like an… attempt to a wave… or maybe it was a threat? The martial god would answer it in kind, even if just for the curiosity of seeing what the apparent sentient weapon would do, but his arms continued to be glued to his torso.
Something in his face must have answered it, since the silk twirled happily.
And then immediately proceeded to attack his defenseless neck and ears in a soft, light kind of tickle that made shivers run across his spine and his lips turn into a gigantic smile.
An old memory tried to resurface.
“Whahat is this?!” He protested in between his teeth. Tiny, high pitched giggles made his shoulders shake, Qianqiu did his best to both hold them in and try to escape the tickly attack. He scrunched up his shoulders, except this only encouraged the soft weapon to scritch excitedly behind his ears until he turned to hide them, leaving his neck open once more. He tried to shake his head, still the maddening, gentle scratching sensation followed him with no problems, dancing across his skin without a single worry. “Dohon’t! Let me go!”
An amused huff cut his silence. “My, had I known about this, his capture at my kingdom would’ve been much smoother and quicker. Maybe I could even have given a different, more exciting show to my subjects, raise his price a little.”
For a moment Lang Qianqiu imagined it and the scenario was so alarming that he immediately shook his head to expel it, throwing the embarrassing thought away. His giggles suddenly became much more difficult to keep at bay and, were it not for that, he would have some good words to share about Crimson Rain Sought Flower’s clearly childish provocations!
“San Lang, don’t tease.” But Xie Lian’s tune was much more amused than chiding, hiding something in the depths of his words.
Lang Qianqiu turned around to demand he take his weapon away, but, just as he opened his mouth, Rouye decided to run across his spine and unleash an onslaught of unrelenting pokes and prodding on his sides, which made him arch his back and freed laughter to pour in waves from him, hysterical giggles twirling around every squeak and snort and suddenly the memory that had been itching in the back of his mind resurfaced.
The afternoon that Fang Xin Guoshi completed one year teaching him. Xie Lian never shared with the royal family the date of his birthday, so they decided to begin the tradition of celebrating this accomplishment instead. Lang Qianqiu couldn’t stay still during the entire day, excitedly waiting for the end of his lesson, when he would be free to drag the imperial preceptor to his surprise gathering. His focus had been completely impossible to hold and he only managed to get distracted from the commissioned gift he had asked for Xiao Mengyou to bring him when, out of nowhere, during their spar…
He then gasped in realization, turning his gaze at Xie Lian, narrowing eyes glistening in accusation, even if he was still unable to stop his uncontrollable loud laughter, especially as the prodding traveled to his ribs, spidering on them while getting dangerously closer and closer to his armpits, making him involuntarily squirm and snicker even more in anticipation.
Even so, he obligated his laughing mind to concentrate on his former mentor's silly shiny gaze.
“It was you!” And, as if reading his mind and acting in protest, Ruoye drummed in that awful space where his pits and ribs connected, pulling a high pitched squeal out of his throat together with, of course, more crackles. “And Ruoye! You were the ones tickling me that day, not Mengyou!”
Xie Lian looked to the side with a way too innocent face to be genuine, a tiny, closed lip grin resting in his face, an almost silently amused, bigger smile escaping him. He didn’t say nor deny anything. It was all the confirmation the former king needed.
As he continued to snicker, giggle and squeal, Qianqiu remembered about his “revenge” taken on his actually innocent childhood friend…Xiao Mengyou definitely was going to kill him when he went to apologize that night. He could only hope it was not by the same way that Ruoye had decided to kill him that moment.
(Lang Qianqiu knew it was all a false hope, though.)
Xie Lian’s voice cut his thoughts.
“Now, again. Give me at least three ways you could have avoided this and Ruoye will let you go.”
Qianqiu felt the urge to grumble at this, but he snorted instead, starting to kick and protest when the soft silk gave the underside of his knee a curious poke.
It was all futile, though, his mentor was known for using different methods of teaching and centuries didn’t change any of that, as it seems.
Lang Qianqiu could relate, he also had at least one feeling that truly didn’t change after all this time, as well.
He would rather be running laps.
#Ticklish!Lang Qianqiu#Lee!Lang Qianqiu#Ticklish!Xiao Mengyou#tgcf tickles#tgcf tickling#Kanene's fic#Kanene's fanfic#LET'S GOOOO!!!! I FINISHED IT!!!! *FINALLYYYYY*#I am so so sooooo happyyyyy teheeeee#I feel like they are kind of ooc because I can't see xl trying to insert himself again in lqq life's after.... well everything#but maybe in this au where everything goes better... maybe..... bruh. the amount of PRIDE u can see in xie lian's pov when he first sees lq#it makes me want to sob#no kidding. when I started to write that moment in the forest I remembered the canon. closed the fic and went to watch funny videos to cope#hgfdfghjklkjhg PLEASE LET XIE LIAN BE HAPPY WITH THE 8765456 KIDS HE ADOPTED PLS#LET HIM AND HUA CHENG HEALTHILY BULLY LQQ WHILE HE GETS ALL BRISTLING AND >:[ angy boy#also rip mah bro mengyou dfghjkjhgfdfghj got tickled just because <3 <3 <3 how dare he be so cute <3 <3 peace and love#I like to think that in this au HC keeps pestering Lqq Just Because and Lqq keeps wanting to duel him#hgfdfghjkkjvbn And Xie Lian also teases him but in his Own Way and Lqq only gets even more >:00 while Mengyou tries to#put some rational thoughts in him because no. you can't win against them STOP calling them to duel you#sad spoilery thoughts ahead#have u ever stopped to think how lqq still calls XL 'guoshi' centuries later? How his teachings are so intengrained him even after so long?#how xl sacrificed himself just to keep lqq's belief that life can be black and white and fair? how this belief about faireness#was what kept his subjects alive? 'cause lqq refused to blame and kill them even tho every elder around him kept pestering him to do so#have you ever think about how he was just 17 and alone? how xl kept saving his life even centuries later? I do. I do think about it
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WHAT IF I CRY. WHAT IF I BREAK DOWN SOBBING
#happy for jun and his acting career (i will just also miss him)#AND GOD JEONGHAN#GOODBYE GOODLUCK#SOBS#i knew this was coming why does is it still so painful#god we just got ot13 back and now it’s going again i’m gonna cry#when will we have ot13 again truly#GOD i got into seventeen late last year i could’ve joined within any of the seven years before that#why did i become a carat so close to enlistment#seventeen#svt#y’all. when all my army friends were sad over enlistment i felt bad for them but i was also like “glad i’m not an army rn lowkey”#“all my favorite groups still have many years to go before military !”#THEN HOSHI ATTACKED ME LIKE A FERAL TIGER AND HOOKED ME INTO SEVENTEEN#and now here i am#it’s only one member enlistment rn but it will be a steady trickle in the coming years and that makes me sad#not a poll#yoon jeonghan#wen junhui
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Thinking about Kim meeting Chay. Kim, who hasn't known affection, who hasn't been touched (aside from stylists and hairdressers and makeup artists) without violence or ulterior motives since the day his mother died, meeting a boy who touches him without any other reason than the fact that he wants to.
#crying in the club (my bed. into my pillow. it's 4am and i should be sleeping)#god kim makes me emotional#he's just. my heart physically hurts when i think about him#i just want to see kimchay actually make up and start dating again and i want to see them being domestic#and i want to see kim be happy#i want him to unlearn that touch = violence#god that boy (because he IS a boy. he's so damn young even if he doesn't act like it) must be so touch starved#sobbing about this right now#anyways goodnight i'm too emotional for this#kimchay#kim theerapanyakul#kimhan theerapanyakul#kimhan theerapanyakul my beloved#kinnporsche#tea's ramblings#this is what i get for watching kimchay edits before bed#most of them are so fucking sad i can't do this
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